Hey readers, how are you doing? We’ve all had a rough year haven’t we? School is around the corner. I’ve been praying for teachers, students, social workers in schools, dietitians in the schools, all of those amazing people who make sure our kids are educated. Our hope for the future.
I’m a mom and my eight-year-old daughter sure is a trooper. I have been working hard helping her have a summer full of happy memories. We have kept our friend circle small. But those friends we have been seeing the most are like family to us. From nights looking for comet Neowise, to watching Space X/NASA astronauts head to the International Space Station, following their mission above us on Twitter, NASA TV and Facebook, watching out for them above us with our notification from NASA at night, and watching them touch down from the International Space Station into the ocean off of the Florida coast and get removed from their capsule, alive and well. How incredibly amazing. And why news outlets aren’t talking about this more baffles me. I sure have one inspired astrophysicist in the making, though, and that’s all that matters to me. We have been snacking on space ice cream from Hobby Lobby, we have been looking at planets with our telescope from Hobby Lobby,
My daughter and I have always loved space and everything NASA 🙂 so has her daddy. We are geeks. Space nerds, whatever. Star Wars, Star Trek loving people who can’t get enough of space.
We lost my mom last year After a long battle with COPD and pneumonia, I had a miscarriage when my husband was on business in Boston in the summer, and our 14-year-old dog passed away from lymphoma cancer right before Thanksgiving. At night I look up into the heavens, and I wonder if any of those stars are them.
There’s not a day that goes by that I wish I could talk to my mom. Tonight I wanted to ask her mom, what should I do in-person, online school, mom what would you do ?
A huge part of my heart wishes I could feel confident in a decision to let my child go to school in person. My child loves art, music, P.E., going to the library, recess, her nurse at school, her social worker who helped her through losing her Gma and her beloved dog, but my daughter also has asthma. That same daughter of mine is worried. Worried to the point that she doesn’t go to sleep easily at night. She is worried she will lose me or her daddy to the scary virus.
Who knew that a minuscule virus, organism, disease could divide so many people, scare so many people, including me? But hey I am a mom of a preemie girl who was born at 10 week and has struggled with asthma her whole life, and I am also a former care taker of a mom who got really sick with upper respiratory viruses that require hospitalization, CPAPs, ICU visits, oxygen, nebulizer treatments. I swear you guys I could be a respiratory therapist easily. I could tell you how much Inogen machine’s cost, what is the difference between low flow and high flow oxygen, and on and on.
Why do I get upset when the flu wasn’t a big deal? Because it killed my mom.
Look guys, I have been wearing masks a lot longer before they were cool, fashionable, uncool, a topic for debate, whatever. There has been a flu vaccine for years. Not everybody gets it. The flu vaccine isn’t required for attending public school. But my family and I always get the vaccine. My mom, was a public health nurse. I have known about diseases, the CDC, etc. for a very long time. Am I comparing SARS 2 coranovirus COVID-19 to the flu. Yup, yes I am. Why? Because just because there is a vaccine for the flu, it doesn’t cover every mutation of that virus. Influenza is an upper respiratory infection. It can cause pneumonia and in some people it can cause death.
I have always made sure we don’t have play dates with friends who are running a fever, or if we are running a fever. I make sure to keep my family away from their workplace or out of school, or myself away from other people, quarantined.
You know though, America needs to be changed. Our healthcare system is broken. Broken in so so many ways. We should be able to stay home if we are sick and rest. We should be able to stay home with our kids if our kids are sick and not be punished for it. There’s this phrase that is called dope and drop, which means if your kids have a fever but you need to work you give your kids some Tylenol and drop them off at daycare, or school because when they take their temperature they don’t have one.
At one time I thought about running for public office, for president, seriously. I could promise you all I wouldn’t have let a deadly virus sneak into America. I have been a journalist for 26 years and as much as I hate it I can’t shut the news hound part of myself off. We have friends who own a Chinese restaurant in town and they have family in Wuhan, China. Family that were locked down in January. For two months. At that time I was like that’s scary I feel bad for them, but wait, why isn’t our president doing anything about this? Why are we letting planes into America from China ? So I tried calling the White House, the number is on the website, no luck. Tried Tweeting Trump, who am I? Nobody. Just a mom, a person who owns a magazine with 10,000 readers, but I am nobody. Who is at fault? The media, the democrats, Trump? Our president was on an impeachment trial in January through early March when he was acquitted. Covid-19 was back page news in January. It was in the news. But not front page news. And guess what guys? Covid-19 was in America back in December 2019. Because people were flying into America internationally. Where I live in Wyoming didn’t have testing capabilities until April. In February I told my husband to wear masks on the airplane on his trip to and from Boston. He thought I was crazy. But I wasn’t.
My family plays this board game called Pandemic. I absolutely hate that game. Why? Because this kind of stuff freaks me out. Outbreaks, an incurable disease. Sometimes you win that board game and other times you just don’t.
My friend from New Zealand reconnected with me during this pandemic. She was bored. Locked down and figured out how to find my email and she emailed me. She and I have been Skyping quite often ever since. The Holderness Family on Facebook has a parody song on there called New Zealand is a wonderland. And my friends and readers. They don’t have Coivd-19 in their island country. They are back to work, back to school, back to enjoying life as usual. How I wish I lived there in New Zealand. How I wish America was like New Zealand.
As a writer. It is so so very difficult to write about fictional topics right now. Like I wish my brain could focus on my children’s books, or my romance I have rolling around in my brain. But my factual facebook, newshound, twitter, email reading self the reporter in me can’t figure out how to write about being able to travel overseas when right now it isn’t possible for Americans to fly anywhere. That the Hallmark Christmas in July specials make me sad because that was 2019 and earlier and well here we are in 2020 Jumanji, and life is just weird. Like a crazy sci-fi movie. One that I would totally change the channel to, to a cheesy romance movie on Hallmark, or Netflix that I adore. and I have been doing that. Watching a lot of Hallmark, watching a lot of Superhero Girls with my daughter, but we have also spent a ton of time outdoors!
I am super blessed I live in Wyoming. We have been gardening, golfing, running in the sprinkler, making smores in a fire pit, watching the sky at night, going to the botanic gardens —- a lot, and we have been taking pictures of flowers, and of rainbows after every rain storm,
I have a new office and my daughter has a new bedroom.
I have been doing everything virtually. virtual author visits, virtual readings, virtual writing and business conferences, virtual school, virtual paint and wine with friends and family all over the country, virtual art, writing and music classes and I even auditioned for NBC’s The Voice. My daughter has been video chatting with all of her cousins and aunts and uncles. So thank God for technology or not? Because seriously I have been doing so much better without Facebook, Twitter and news alerts. On the days I shut that all off I am more relaxed and able to just focus on tasks at hand and the most important people in my life my daughter and my husband, as well as our fur kids.
You guys, readers, how can I pray for you? It just seems like everyone is struggling with something right now. Deployments, stressful jobs, job loss, marital strife, anxiety, depression, anger, racial injustice, hate, political division, safety of our schools, teachers and our children’s lives —-and why aren’t we still honoring our frontline workers? You know the healthcare workers, postal workers, online shopping warehouse workers, retail and restaurant workers, our police, firemen and women and EMTS, that save our butts when we need them most. Where are the concerts that took place in March when everyone was in their homes and ordering Amazon and stocking up on too much toilet paper? We still need music, we still need healing. God do we need healing right now.
Well, I guess I just wrote a lot. I have only been able to write my thoughts down during this time. I haven’t been able to work on fun stuff. My coffee shops might be open in some places, but writing with a mask on isn’t fun, and I can’t even sit inside the Botanic Gardens like I used to be able to, or go to the library and stay all day and write, there is a two hour limit at ours, and you have to wear a mask. So, I write in my office, sometimes in my backyard, sometimes out on my front porch on my little table.
But there are distractions everywhere In my house, husband working from home, kiddo home for the summer and when school starts still at home virtual schooling, there are books and magazines to read, crafts to do, house work yard work, stuff to watch on TV, tablets, phones, friends in crisis, friends who just need to talk, appointments, bills to pay, you know fun adult stuff. My daughter taught me how to play with Barbies the other day because she is lonely and she is like “ See mommy Ariel will call Barbie and tell her she is coming over to watch a movie, so you try it mommy.”
Sometimes I wish we could just not do school for 2020. We could just have fun, do crafts, and hang out. This summer has been a blur. And we haven’t had any out of town company this summer, which is just odd. we have had some play dates but only with close friends and we have been monitoring everyone’s temperatures etc. like we always do.
Everyone thinks I think Covid-19 isn’t serious. I know it is. But I also thought the flu was serious. And I still do. We should have been taking these kind of precautions with the flu. But we weren’t. Maybe my mom would still be alive?
Look nobody is to blame, the Sars2 cornovirus is here. It is causing lots of strife, people are losing their lives, and there is a brand new vaccine. I am just trying to keep my family safe. Like I always have. And here I am back with the Covid19 talk. It’s heavy on my mind and why it is so so hard for me to sit down and write about fun things. To be able to work on my rhyming in picture books, to be able to take you all on a journey with my new romance I want to write under my pen name, and ha you don’t even know what my pen name is …. so anyway ,,,,,and there’s my memoir. Hey guys, it is so hard to look at childhood photos and I have boxes of those, boxes, stacked in photo boxes in my closet. i have digital picture frames, no idea how to use them, and I know there is Legacy Box, but I don’t have a ton of money and you guys, did I tell you about all of my pictures. I used to scrapbook. I have all of that stuff. And was thinking about doing that this fall. My daughter loves to scrapbook.
I finally got the courage to show her my wedding photos because my 19 year anniversary was Aug. 4. And she wasn’t born until much much later than 2001 when we got married. So many lovely people in those photos have passed away since then. My daughter said she saw some of them in heaven before she was born. There are friends in my photos who I have lost touch with and I have no idea how to find them again. But, we had an amazing wedding. And my husband is really awesome. He has worked really hard during this whole pandemic, and I haven’t been able to make a lot of money and it has been frustrating beyond belief. Believe me I have tried. But maybe, right now, God just wants me to be a mom, be a wife, a home maker, and an author. Man everyone it is 2:13 a.m. and I am not even tired. So, so weird.
I have been avoiding conflict with people, and drama. I am just done with drama. I have had this horrible tension head ache now for two weeks off an on. And it just won’t go away. When I am all relaxed it isn’t around, but right now it is back. And I can feel it in my shoulders. It’s tough to sleep at night you guys. But once I am asleep I sometimes have nightmares that wake me up. And then I sleep in, and I need to stop this. it has helped writing it all down. It helps reading. But I haven’t been able to focus. As you can see this bounces from subject to subject. So so much on my mind lately. Why am I sharing it? Well maybe you are feeling like me? A little bit done with Covid-19 and maybe there is an end in site with this vaccine? I just wish it never existed. I wish we were back in 2018. When my mom, my dog were still alive and I still had the hope of having another baby.
If you go to my author Facebook page, Http://facebook.com/karencotton I do live updates and occasionally you can watch me read from my books. I will be on Wyoming PBS this fall and I will also be on the After School Kids program, too reading, virtually. Man Halloween is going to be all kinds of weird this year. I think we should do it in reverse and just drive around in costumes and throw candy at everyone we pass by out the windows. …. everyone will be in masks anyways !!!! Ok ha that was pretty funny. I think that will make a new meme on Facebook Hahahahaha …. anyway everyone in my house is asleep, the cat, the dogs, my hubby and my kid. And right now my kiddo has taken over my entire bed in the master bedroom with her dog, and the cat has reserved my office couch, my husband is asleep in his recliner downstairs, so as to not wake him and the pup down there I have the option of kicking my cat out of my office bed. lol or sleep on the couch ….
And as I have been writing this tonight I have been listening to Steven Curtis Chapman radio on Spotify. Everyone needs God in their lives right now. Even if they don’t believe in him. God is love. Purely and simply.